Tired of Tears
by Swords and Bandages
Summary: Shikamaru's falling apart after he and Ino breaks up. He's shut himself inside his room, yet everything around him still reminds him of her. ShikaIno oneshot songfic.


**a/n: This is the 2nd songfic I've ever written, but the 1st I'll post on here. The song is "So Sick" by Ne-Yo.**

**Feedback will be appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or the song I'm using.**

* * *

_Mmmm, mmm, yeah…  
Do do do do do do do-do  
Hmm yeah…_

The radio-clock on the nightstand sang out as it hit 7:00. Shikamaru lay still in bed, making no effort to stop the singing. He didn't feel like it.

In fact, he didn't feel like doing anything. He hadn't even been out of his room in a long time. Nothing was worth doing anymore. But it wasn't because he was lazy.

His phone rang. He paid no attention.

The answering machine turned on.

"Hi, you've reached Ino and Shikamaru …"

_Gotta change my answering machine  
__Now that I'm alone  
'Cause right now it says that we  
Can't come to the phone  
_

That voice. The only reason he cared, now gone. Out of his life. He would never hear that voice again. Never hear her laugh, pout, argue, fuss… never again. He didn't wish to, either. It brought back too much. But he couldn't bring himself to change that message. She wasn't here, but such an act gave the truth a finality he could not accept. But he couldn't deny it, either… she was gone, and she wasn't coming back.

"…We can't come to the phone right now, so leave your name and number, and we'll get back to you!"

_And I know it makes no sense  
'Cause you walked out the door  
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore  
_

"Shikamaru, I have to tell you something…"

"…yes?"

"I…"

"Ino…"

"I-I don't think this is working out."

"Ino… why?"

"I'm sorry, Shikamaru… but we're just too different."

"But, what about…"

"I'm really, really sorry, Shika. But it's like you never pay attention to me anymore."

"That's not true. Ino, I…"

"Shika, it's so obvious… you've got other things on your mind."

"Ino, please stay. Please."

"I can't, Shika. I'm sorry…"

"sigh… so this is it?"

"I guess…"

"……"

"Goodbye, Shikamaru."

_(It's ridiculous)  
It's been months  
For some reason I just  
(Can't get over us)  
And I'm stronger than this_

That was the end of it. She walked out of the door, and he never saw her again.

The first day had ground by slowly. He felt… all right. To be frank, he didn't feel anything. He went about his business at home, and lethargy began to set in, but he didn't break down or anything. Not until 3 days had passed did the fact sink in that she was gone. Memories surged into his head, taking away what little remained that held the shell of a man together. He crumbled to pieces.

_(Enough is enough)  
No more walking 'round  
With my head down  
I'm so over being blue  
Crying over you_

Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head. He felt pathetic.

His vision blurred. Tears streaked down the corners of his eyes.

Why did he even cry anymore?

Honestly speaking, this was getting absurd. He'd thought he could handle something like this.

Yet apparently he couldn't. Coping with loss was actually easier than it appeared, some have declared. Sure. Even if this pain wouldn't last forever, every moment was like an eternity, weighing on his psyche.

The radio kept playing, broadcasting the doleful ballad. It just made him feel even worse. But he couldn't turn it off.

_And I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
__You were still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs  
__So sad and slow  
__So why can't I turn off the radio?_

Why was he doing this? Why? Why didn't it stop hurting? Why couldn't he move on?

No one answered him as he turned his head to look out of the window. Snow fell from a sky of dismal grey. Shikamaru sighed again, his emotions at the bluest hue. And though it was warm inside, he felt cold without her.

_Gotta fix that calendar I have  
That's marked July 15th  
Because since there's no more you  
There's no more anniversary  
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you  
And your memory  
And now every song reminds me  
Of what used to be  
_

Shikamaru remembered. That one sweet summer night. The promise.

"Ino, I've got something for you…"

"What is it, Shika?"

"……"

"What is it? Tell me!"

"I… uh…"

"Come on and say it, Shikamaru."

"Um…"

"What's that you got behind your back?"

"Ino… will you marry me?"

"… Oh, my, goodness."

"Ino?"

_That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
__You were still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs  
__So sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?_

Momentary pause.

Immediately, she hugged him close. After a long embrace, she let him go, looking into his eyes. Her own eyes were as clear as the blue sky.

"How can I ever say no, Shikamaru?"

"Um…"

"When will it be?"

"One year. Exactly. I'll marry you on this date next year."

"Hmm…"

"I love you, Ino."

"I love you too, Shikamaru."

_(Leave me alone)  
Leave me alone  
(Stupid love songs)  
Hey, don't make me think about her smile  
Or having my first child  
Let it go  
Turning off the radio_

That night, overtaken by passion, they made sweet love. How nice were things then. No matter how hard he'd try, Shikamaru would never forget it.

This was just too much to bear. He still missed her.

That voice. The meaning of his life, now the bane of his existence. A gift, now a curse. He still remembered how nice it was to hear her speak.

That mouth, whose words enticed him so easily and drew him into a web of pleasure. She was sweeter than honey. He was addicted.

Those lips, blessing him with a touch of heaven each time they kissed.

Everything. No more. Now it was winter, the landscape barren of livery, his heart devoid of joy.

_'Cause I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
__She was still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs  
__So sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)_

He had to stop this. He couldn't keep on hurting.

It was time to move on.

Shikamaru forced himself from the bed amid his shambled emotions. A part of him wanted to fall back, and cry his heart out into the pillow. The other part led him outside, where the snow would numb his misery.

Conflicted, he slammed against the wall. Why couldn't he just let it all go?

_Said I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
__She was still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs  
__So sad and slow  
So why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)_

His tore his hands through his hair. The music continued playing as he staggered through the room, as if seized upon by forces of his own mind. Falling down at the windowsill, he gazed at the sky with eyes reddened from weeping; from a tender throat, he softly uttered one word.

"Why?"

_And I'm so sick of love songs  
So tired of tears  
So done with wishing  
__You were still here  
Said I'm so sick of love songs  
__So sad and slow  
Why can't I turn off the radio?  
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)  
Why can't I turn off the radio?_


End file.
